Bones aren’t the only thing that can break, and our mental health is just as instrumental to our well being as physical health. I’ve brought back my favourite med student, Janani, to have a chat about how we can take care of ourselves (and each other) in after a punch in the feels.
This will be the second last episode of the season, and Stumble Through will be back January 29th 2020 with more tips, chuckles and hugs through your headphones. If you have an idea for an episode, email me at stumblethroughpod@gmail.com (I would LOVE to hear from you).
Keep well,
-Paula
Also, at about 18:30 minutes in there are some sirens in the background. Just a heads up in case you are listening to this while driving.
EPISODE NOTES:
Things We Mentioned
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Self-Soothing sounds weird, and it’s usually associated with parenting and new parents trying not to rush to their child’s cot each time they cry. It boils down to the things we do to centre ourselves when we’ve experienced something shocking or emotionally tumultuous. Some examples I found were having a cup of tea (like J says she likes to do); putting yourself in an observational mode where you observe your feelings, thoughts, and the world around you while creaing some distance from it emotionally; and being compassionate with yourself about all the things you’re observing. I wasn’t a big fan of any of the resources I found on the internet about this, so if you have a good one, or one you have found really helped you, send it through!
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Here is an article I enjoyed on the science behind giving a name to the feeling and why that helps us process it.
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Here is that Ted Talk I keep banging on about by Guy Winch.
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I found this article on Psychology Today about rumination vs reflection which made me think about some of my thought patterns and habits, and has made me look for signs that I may be dipping form one into the other.
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Journaling is a very powerful tool in general, but especially when it comes to giving us an opportunity to grasp messy feelings and big life stuff. The act of writing things down makes us put our thoughts in order, and the act of consciously constructing a narrative around it helps us take control of it (the emotion or our lives). So it’s great for being reflective instead of ruminative, processing emotions, and managing stress. Here’s a science-y article on it
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Holding space is an interesting turn of phrase form therapy doing the rounds on the internet now. I’ve found this piece on Medium about it which really interested me. Something that my therapist reminds me to do is to hold space for negative emotions, and allow them to be there without judgement. Rum put it beautifully in his poem The Guesthouse: …. Welcome and entertain them all! /Even if they are a crowd of sorrows /who violently sweep your house /empty of its furniture, /still, treat each guest honorably. /He may be clearing you out /for some new delight…
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One of your excellent submissions got us talking about being specific when you offer help. It’s true, because while we all like to feel useful and help where we can, ASKING for help can often feel like we’re burdening people or putting them out in some way. I recently read something by Laura Jane Williams, where she talks about offering help in terms of tasks, and shifting the focus from the person. It went something along the lines of “What would be needed to achieve this?” And so if your friend is feeling like they’re never going to get a job, maybe the thing to do is to first ask them what would help them feel like they are capable, and then see what you can do to make it happen. What is the best advice you’ve ever had about giving or offering help?
Janani is a bit too busy kicking butt and healing people to be on socials, so follow Queensland Health instead!
Produced by That’s Not Canon Productions. Graphics by Claudia Piggott. Music by Jessica Fletcher.
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