Ep 17: 'Like Bastard Like Son'

A gut-wrenchingly cringey show this week. Our boys must endure a truly ridiculous song featuring lazy metaphors, spoken word sections and the most Nice Guy shit you've ever heard!

Like Bastard Like Son Lyrics


Two figures sit alone

At a table playing chess

In the space far outside the world

One of the men

Has a burn across his chest

And thus our tale unfurls

The man in white

Shook his head

‘Worst game I’ve ever seen’

As the man in black

In one fell swoop

Took the white man’s queen

‘I’ll get her back’

Said the white man

As he banged his fist on the table

‘Of course you can’ 

said the black man

‘That is, if you’re able

For two times now I’ve taken your queen’

He leant back in his chair

‘Why don’t you just forget her?’

At this the white man stood up and

Knocked the chess board off it’s stand

He gazed in awe at his right hand

Where a burn mark was growing

The man in black begun to laugh

‘My virus has begun to graft

To the external tools of your craft

Your weakness my son is showing’

‘What have you done to me?’

Through gritted teeth

The white man cried in pain

‘I’ve done to you what’s done to me

My son, you cry in vain’

The white man fell to the floor

Hand to his throbbing breast

You cannot begin to comprehend

The pain now in his chest

‘You see, I’ve got this virus’

The man in black began

‘And before it inevitably kills me,

I thought I’d go out with a bang.

It’s a mix of bitterness,

Jealousy, selfishness and hate.

Of cynicism, malice

And that vengeful twist of fate.

Know that your heart and my disease

Have easily become one

I’m glad that I’m the one to say…

You’re going to hell my son

No matter how you fear

You’re going to hell my son

Your time is nearly here’

’Stop that now!’

‘You are condemned’

‘I’m not like you!’

‘To hell my friend

You’re going to hell my son’

‘Enough! I am my own man!

And I am not your son!’

‘Haha Oh really?

Erin, Diana, Emma, Joana

Your opinions, your minions

Your cold hearted deeds!


Further along than me!

You’re going to hell my son

You’re going to hell my son

Oh you can try, but when you die

You’re going to hell my son’

The man in white

Closed his eyes

He felt his world slipping away

He only held on long enough

To hear the black man say

‘You’re going to hell my son

No matter how you wish

You’re going to hell my son

Soon you will be finished’

And then the world was black

Until the voices of everyone the white man loved reached him

He body was bathed in a white hot light that pierced the darkness

And slowly he was pulled back from the brink of oblivion

When the man in white came to, the man in black was gone

Either chased away or destroyed by the light

He walked over to the chessboard

And saw that the man in back had taken all of his pieces, leaving only white


As the white man turned to leave,

he heard the sound of a thick liquid being disturbed

He lifted his shoe to his face

His sole wa-BLACK!!!

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